HW 58 - Parenting 102

So we listened to two different people in class, talk about the process of raising their children. Marguerite Scully has 3 children who range from ages 21 to 16 and Josh Marks has a new born baby. They both have completely separate ideas on how they will, have, and do raise their children. Marguerite was always very hands on with her children and always wanted them to have some sort of family role model/authority figure. She raised them to be honest, hardworking Americans. Josh Marks wants to raise his child to be able to make choices and be able to support them because she will know her strengths and weaknesses. He said "I want to expose her to certain opportunities so she can choose later in life." He wants his daughter to be able to understand the different choices put in front of her and choose the right one. Marguerite raised her children in a different age and generation then Marks did. She had to work and because of that she wasn't always there for them, but she did raise them. She made sure to always have family dinners and raise them to know that she did love them and always would. Marks is raising his daughter for success. He wants her to be able to go out into the world and be a force to compete with. He wants to structure her time as well as give her free time so she can understand how precious her freedoms are and so she can learn to live with structure.

When i asked my parents what techniques they used when they raised me, they told me about how my mom used to bathe me in the sink with the baby book right next to her, telling her what to do. So i asked about what morals they raised me with. They said that they raised me to respect them and other adults, and to always try my hardest. They raised me so that i would do the work and be able to succeed in life. They want me to be able to live my life with confidence within myself to know what i was doing is right. They raised me very similar to how Marks wants to raise his daughter. They had structured free time for me. They had everything i did planned out to some extent so that i would be better accustomed to how things work in life. They didn't do it so i would follow the powers at be, but so i would understand them and be able to work with them. They raised me to work hard by always insisting that my homework was done, and done well. They did this so that i would get into the mindset that i would always have to preform at my best, no matter what the circumstances were. Those ideals were instilled into me for my own personal gain, so that i would be able to be more successful as a personal and in turn have a happier and more prosperous life. I think that they had a good idea of what they were doing

Part 4

The whole point of this parenting unit was to be able to see what its like on the other side of the coin. To see how parents view us as their children, and how things are always different then how we perceive it. That isn't an insight though. What is an insight is that us as children are all raised to be goal oriented. No matter how our parents raised us, we are all meant to succeed. No parent raises their child so they can be a street sweeper. They raise us so that we can shoot for the stars and be rich, successful or just simply happy. I don't always believe the happy option, but i do think it is a coping mechanism for parents whose children didn't achieve the dreams that they had. Its the idealism in setting goals for your children, because to your knowledge, if they reach them, then they will be successful and RICH. When the child doesn't achieve this goal, then you set goals so that they can be "happy," not necessarily successful. There is a big difference between being happy, and successful, to parents at least. Parents always want their children to have easier lives then they did. They want them to be able to make a lot of money so they don't have to work as hard later. They want this goal for them because it wasn't something they could ever achieve so they want their children to be able too.

When i become a parent, i know i will be strict I wont let my child have free reign to do whatever they please. They will be under my control, but still have the freedom to do what they want, as long as a approve of course. I wont say they can't hang out late with their friends, but i would set a curfew so they understand that there is a structure and that structure needs to be followed and obeyed or there will be consequences. I wont ground them forever or take away something, but they will understand that when rules are set, they should be followed. I wont brainwash them to believe whatever anyone tells them. I don't want my child to be submissive to the powers at be, but to obey them and be able to understand why they are both wrong and right. I think being able to understand another person's point of view is a very important characteristic, and i want my children to have that characteristic. By being able to understand what another person is saying, they will never be regarded as ignorant. It will also help them exponentially when it comes to persuasive writing papers. Its the little things like that, that i want my children to understand and be. I want them to be that, because those are all the things that i am not. Or even ideas that were instilled in me. I can look back at that list and see places where i fall short to my parents expectations and i want to be able to correct that in my child, so they wont have the same weaknesses that i think i have. I guess thats a big part of parenting. A mixture of correcting your own weaknesses and correcting them, and trying to set your child up for a great future by your standards. Nothing is ever that simple though.