I don't think humans are 100% self centered, but the majority of what we do has some sort of impact on ourselves. Whether or not it is the main motivation behind what we do, there is still a great reason for ourselves to do it. I mean just writing this has had some sort of positive effect on me. It will help me get a better grade and maybe into a better college and then better jobs etc. Its all about the future and how it all leads up to that. We all are about the future and how we can be better now to be happier then. We are all so caught up in grades and school that we don't have nearly as much fun now.
The students who try the hardest are the ones who do the best. But trying hard in school and studying aren't cool. By studying and doing your work and actually caring, you are giving into the demands of the school and the people above you. You aren't part of the rebellion anymore. The cool kids are always the ones who break the rules and make other people feel bad by cracking jokes on them. They usually aren't as successful because there is not really such a thing as beating the system. Sure its possible, but its like quick sand, the more you struggle and fight the deeper you get pulled in and it can drown you. By just staying calm and going with it you have a better chance of survival. Fighting it will never get you out but going with it will.
I started this paragraph with, "people are the way they are because..." Then i just stopped. I didn't know how to complete that sentence because i don't even know why i am the way i am. I am part me and part everyone around me. The people around me are what make up me so i guess i am not really me at all. You can think of it as a collage. I have taken the people around me and turned parts of their personalities in order to make mine. I don't know if everyone does that, but that is what i have always done. I think that's just me.
Every once and a while i will check my blog even when we don't have homework just to see if i got a comment that either condemned or approved of my work. I just wanted to see if anyone had read it and maybe had something to say about it. I like when people read my work even if they don't like it. I hate change and everything about it but i love the recognition. I just like when people say they like my work. People like to be appreciated and acknowledged. Its not always the big things either. Its like if you do something and tried really hard and some one says good job or actually appreciated/noticed what you did then you feel 10 times better about doing it.
I believe in karma. I think that everything bad i do will come back to me and everything good i do will have the same effect. That's why i don't steal, and i do my best not to lie or cheat. I feel that stealing is the root of all crimes. To lie is to steal the truth, to kill is to steal life. I feel like to deprive someone of the trust and faith that they put into you is a terrible thing. If someone comes to you for help, to deny them is just as bad as stealing something from the store. It is never the end of the world, it is just about the fact that you then have to go home and know that you did that. Its not even just that people would do the same for you, its that you should want to help them and be there for them. Whether or not they did or did not do something for you, why say no? It is easier to make friends then enemies.
Now as to love, i wouldn't ever say that love is fictitious or fake, but it isn't something that is easy to find. I am 17 so i really don't know much about it. I don't know what love is like, i know what it is like to be in a relationship, i know what breaking up is like. Those are the types of things that help you understand love. I don't know much first hand, but what i do know is that love isn't about finding the perfect person, its about being able to see an imperfect person perfectly. It is about finding someone who you know and who knows you. Someone who doesn't need to be told when you are happy or sad. They know you because they are just like you. They understand your feelings. Finding a person like that and then loosing them is like loosing a piece of yourself. You depended on them and trusted them and suddenly they are gone. Its never about the piece of you they took with you, its the piece that remains. It is a deep pain. But what do i know right? I am only 17. There are times when i think i know everything, but i really don't. It is plain and simple, that i don't know everything no matter what i may think. I still have plenty to learn, but you have to start somewhere right?
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