HW 31 - Exploring Methods of Aggrandizing the Self

Part A

I asked my friend P.J. about some of the aspects of how he dresses and how he acts because he lives on long island and it is a completely different culture out there. Different accents, different lifestyles, etc.

Whether he is wearing a sweatshirt, t-shirt, or a jacket it always about his high school varsity football team. This along with jeans, and some sort of running shoes. When asked about this he replies with, well i like it, its pretty cool to be on the varsity football team and i am only a sophomore, so i want people to know. The shoes are for comfort and the jeans is because he likes them but also because everyone else out there wears them.

I don't really see anything too special about this, if i were to dig i would come up with that he does it to be someone because no one wants to feel insignificant but that would have to mix in with comfort and just tradition. These wouldn't be new ideas. The real new ideas would be that these people all do this to feel different from one another but really they just want to be the same as each other because creativity isn't something that is taught, nor is individuality. They play team sports and because of that they learn to operate as a community so they are proud to be a part of this community. We pride ourselves on being individuals and they are all about being similar. It varies on the community. Not a huge discovery, but i think it means something to know that we aren't all the same, maybe you can predict what people will say based on what they live, but in a city like New York, you can't think everyone here is the same because there are people here from all over the world, so they all think different things that could all be rooted back to independent family/community/anti-community values. Whatever the reason is, i refuse to accept that we are all the same

Part B:

Who i am, and who i am to you are completely different people. I am not saying i have multiple personality disorder or anything to that effect but what i am saying is that i am never the same person for everyone. I can be nice, mean, condescending, quite, loud, smart, dumb. It all depends on the situation and who i am with because, honestly, i don't know who i am. I have had fights with people who are very important to me because they say i am two different people, and i know. I know that i am not the same person day to day and it eats me alive. I dress how i have always dressed but i started wearing brighter clothes and Nikes because i think that it would make me stand out more. I don't know if that is the really completely honest reason behind it because i don't know what i would say to answer that question in 20 minutes. I can feel that deep down inside me there is a person who really knows who he is and what he does, he is aware of his actions and what they do to people. He doesn't want to hurt people, he likes to see them smile because their smiles really are beautiful. Laughs are better then music to him. Being an ear to talk to and a shoulder to lean on are second nature to him. Does this make him human? Of course, whether or not he talks back, he is still aware and he still thinks about the things he does. He still feels it when someone hurts him. But the pain never seems to linger long because they don't really mean it. One day that person will show his face. Its hard to be that person because people don't really know what to do with someone who is like that. He is not the same person they knew. I hate this, i really do, i hate it that i can't always be who i want to be, it drives away the people who are closest to me. They are the ones who count and they are the ones who deserve to be treated right because deep down they know that this person is there too. He is known to make an appearance at the right times, but he doesn't stay long. Life is a hard thing to embrace because, well who knows when it is going to let you down. That isn't what is important though, what is important is that i recognize who i am. People are collages of the people around them. They are made of the good and the bad, because not everyone will look favorably upon every trait that they have, no matter how many times people may say that they don't live for other people, they know that they are willing to change for the people who they care about, and they think care about them back. I know that i would be willing to change for my good friends if they wanted me too. But i don't always know if i can. I don't know if i can be able to do something like that, i don't know if i can just change like that. I wish i could. I don't know how much writing about it here for everyone to see will help me here. Maybe it is just another one of my personalities who is doing this to me. But that doesn't matter right now. I don't really know how much does matter. What i do know for certain is that no matter who i am at the moment, what personality may be present, what reflection of society and the people around me i may giving off, i am still some version of myself, I have still taken that and made it my own. I would like to think that is more then i can say for other people, but i am in no position to say that, i just want to be able to recognize that i at least can understand this about myself. Just a thought

HW 30 - Psychological and Philosophical Theorizing of Cool

You aren’t important. Your ideas aren’t important, your actions aren’t important, your existence isn’t important. At least not to me… Dependence on another human is painful. It is hard to live when you are constantly looking for approval or attention. Everyone knows this because everyone has been hurt at one time or another by a person, yet no one does anything about it because maybe one day we can get lucky enough to find someone who values the same thing as us. Is that all life is, looking for someone else? We live for a cure to loneliness. Democritus said that “Happiness resides not in possessions, and not in gold, happiness dwells in the soul.” What does it take to be happy? Can someone be happy and lonely? Happiness comes from having what you want, whether that is emotionally or physically. “Nothing is impossible as long as you try.”(My Mother).

Is my life empty because I don’t go out and get drunk every night? Your words are meaningless, your actions are meaningless, because you don’t fit in, you aren’t important. You aren’t important to me, what have you done to make my life any better then it is now? You came here and fucked up everything that I had going already. I could have been anyone and everyone, but now I am no one but someone. “Nothing is easier than self-deceit. For what each man wishes, that he also believes to be true.” (Demosthenes). I am what I am, and you, and the guy behind you. I am all of them because, well, I don’t know who I am, that’s what makes me who I am. Rene Descartes once said, “I think therefore I am.” What does thinking do for us? I am no matter what stupid idea pops into my head, I will still exist no matter what conversation I may be having with myself. Descartes also said, “Except our own thoughts, there is nothing absolutely in our power.” I can think what I want about anything and the only thing you can do it tell me I am wrong, my imagination is more powerful then anything you can throw at me. These men are famous for their thoughts, not the actions or effects of their thoughts. They preached their ideas, they didn’t force people to listen, they did because they believed in what they said and looked to them for hope. They didn’t depend on these people, but had faith in them.

It was 9:30, absurdly early to be up on a Saturday morning, but he needed to meet someone. He quickly took a shower and got dressed, was about to walk out the door when he checked his phone, one new text message, it said, “hey sorry, I really can’t hang out today, I got a concussion and missed 2 days of school this week and I have SOOO much work to make up, sorry, we can hang out another time.” He wasn’t really shocked, he had known her since he was 3 months old and had a small feeling that she was busy, but he still had faith that she would come through. For that reason, he didn’t make other plans, so it was 9:30 on a Saturday morning, fully dressed and showered with nothing to do, where do you go from there? Back to bed? He was already up. Watch television all day? Might as well, all of his other friends were busy, oh well, its just one day, he thought.

That one moment of realizing that there is nothing to do and you really are alone, that is how emptiness feels. No matter how fast you recover, that little moment will stick with you for a long time. There are hundreds of ways to get rid of this terrible feeling but not one of them comes without taking a chance. With risk comes reward, but sometimes you have to question, is it really worth it? John Dryden says “Only man clogs his happiness with care, destroying what is, with thoughts of what may be.” When you begin to question what happiness really is then you begin to question if you really can be happy and then it all goes to hell in a hand basket.

All this is true to me, whether or not you agree is beyond me but I do want to leave you with some words by Mr. Ralph Waldo Emerson

To believe your own thought, to believe that what is true for you in your private heart is true for all men,

—that is genius.

HW 29 - Merchants of Cool

Money is the force behind a great many actions. It is what makes people do stupid things like sit in a cubicle 8 hours a day, 6 days a week. It is what pushes us to want more and do more, because if the money is right we will do just about anything. But this isn't new information. Nothing i am going to write here is new information, just something for you to consider. Self awareness is they type of thing that does make us think about it, not necessarily change right away. If someone calls you out on something you did wrong, like hey, i don't like how you always make fun of my mom or something, will they stop right away? Probably not, but they will start to think about it before they do it the next times. Its like planting the seed of doubt in someones mind. Its not always necessary to culture it yourself, you just need to plant it and their own mind takes care of the rest.

I really enjoyed the class with Matt Fried because he had these great insights into how we are afraid of sadness. I liked that because i wanted to do some research into what kind of role emotion plays in cool and how different emotions could lead to different views on some one's level of "coolness." Anyway, this one point got me because i think that advertising companies have really attacked that. Money cant buy you love, but it can buy you happiness and nowadays that is really all that matters. People want to be happy and even in an unstable economy, money is still just paper that was made to be spent. There are people, like Matt Fried, are paid to tell you are unhappy, but just hearing it makes them happy, gives them the knowledge and permission to be unhappy. There are pills and drugs to make people happy. With all of these new products, happiness really can just be bought in a little pill bottle.

In Merchants of Cool, we are exposed to how the advertising industry is trying to use us and take advantage of our money, because at our age, we want to be cool and we don't need to make money because we are given it by our parents, and whatever money we are given we spend on what we think is cool. Or to make us cool, and cool is happiness. Parents give it to us to make us happy and what we spend it on makes us even happier. We don't always have it, but we always need it.

What i am trying to say but i kind of lost track of along the way, is that they want to make money off of you, while you make money off of them, it is an everlasting circle of fun that comes with a side dish of pain and suffering, all to live the dream, you aren't hearing any complaints from me though

HW 28 - Informal Research

• "Cool." Dictionary.reference.com. 2009. Random House Dictionary, Web. 8 Dec 2009. .

This was the official dictionary definition of cool and i thought that was a good place to start because i mean that is what people refer back too. We rely on it so it needs to be correct, but putting a debatable word in like cool is like putting life in the dictionary. Anyway i thought it was a good jumping off point.

The reason i chose this was because it was a good point to argue from, like it has the definition "unaffected by emotions; disinterested; dispassionate." I thought this was interesting and that was the main reason behind it being here. Other then that i really didn't have much else to put in.

• "Hulu Homepage." Hulu.com. Web. 8 Dec 2009. .

Hulu.com is a website where people can go and watch full length television shows for free. Most of them are comedy and others are serious. I viewed it as cool because it has shows that i love and when they aren't on television anymore i can still go there and watch them.

The reason that this is cool is because it is free and open to the public. It is stress free and i can go there and numb my mind out to endless episodes of SNL or The Office. It is a great place to go when i am too lazy to turn the t.v. or i missed my favorite show because for some strange reason i forgot to put my schedule for the day around that hour or half hour of programming. I think that is cool

• "Urban Dictionary Homepage." Urbandictionary.com. Web. 8 Dec 2009. .

Oh Urbandictionary.com, it is the rude and crude version of wikipedia.com. It has information, non of it useful. Its funny and crude and that is what makes it cool. People go there to look up their names and see the funny things people wrote about it. Anyone can post a definition. That's what makes it fun.

To me forums are funny because its watching people argue on the Internet. Arguing on the Internet is utterly pointless because no one has a face, anyone can be anonymous and have the power to say and do as they please. So watching people express their feelings about something but bring down someone else in the process is entertaining from an outsiders point of view, not because someone is being hurt, it is because they are arguing and going back and forth at each other when it doesn't really matter. Being a spectator is cool especially when things start to get intense.

Other "Cool" Sources:

• Facebook
• Mylifeisaverage.com
• Funnyjunk.com
• Netflix.com
• Imeem.com

The reason those are there is because those are what i like. I like to be entertained and i like to laugh and when i don't want to laugh i want to listen to music and these are all websites that allow me to do those things. For that i am grateful and because of that they are "cool" in my mind. But then again that is just my opinion so does it really matter to the masses? My guess would be no, but then again, just because someone says i should care, does that mean i should listen? What role does our HUMANITY play in this epic battle?

HW 27 - Informal Research - Interviews and Surveys

Alright, so I asked my family, friends, and random strangers what they think it means to be cool, and surprisingly they all didn’t say what you said they would. Albeit most of them did, but there was 2 examples who didn’t. The first person that I interviewed on the street gave me the best interview of all of them. When I walked up to him and started the interview and said something about the “cool” unit he laughed, he said, “I don’t think I am the right person to be asking.” I said, “why not, I just want to know what you think “cool” is.” He responded with, “to me a cool person is someone who is courteous, outgoing and friendly, it doesn’t matter what they wear or what race they are, its about the personality to me.” When I asked about someone who was popular or badass, he laughed and said, “hey as long as they are courteous and friendly I don’t really care.” I didn’t really realize the power of those words as first but now when I think about it I really start to think about it, I really realize the power behind his words. They could be deaf, blind, rich, poor, short, tall, pretty, ugly, to him it wouldn’t matter as long as they were courteous, I like that, I mean everyone has their cracking point but at least he didn’t give me some bulls*&$ answer about individualism or being rich like most of the other strangers did. They all wanted some one funny, this guy was just looking for a good friend or something like that. He seemed like a pretty cool guy too. The other person who I interviewed was my mother, usually, we don’t have big thanksgiving dinners with the family, because, well we don’t really have a big family, so we spend it in the New York Rescue Mission. Besides, she is the coolest person I know. What she said was that being cool was being self-assured. Not in like a jackass way, but in a way where you are ok in your own skin. Whether this was on your list or not, it came from my mother and to me, that means more then anything. What I am trying to get at, is that your right, if you want to be able to catagorize everyone then yes there is definitely a category for everyone. But not everyone is going to willingly be put there, sometimes people don’t act like you think they would, that’s why, by the bible’s standards, no man is god, it is a being that can be everyone and everything because one man can’t see through everyone’s eyes.

HW 26 - Photos & Questions

For all of my interviews i asked the same question. I asked Why are you wearing what you are wearing? They all had different outfits and it said something different about each of their personalities. I know the pictures aren't very good quality so i will do my best to describe the outfit.

Ayinde Stevens

He is wearing a Button down, collared shirt, a green sweater, khakis, and white athletic Shoes. Then the leather jacket, big framed glasses and a hat. Topped off with a messenger bag. When asked why he was wearing it he gave 3 answers.

• Its a school uniform
• It is the suckiest thing on earth
• It is all i know how to wear.

The reason i chose to photograph him is because he always dresses like this, not that this is a bad thing, but it is rare to see some one who dresses formally and doesn't change after school because they don't want people to judge them. He gets my respect because just from hanging out with him, he is who he is. He has his own unique personality that is unlike anything i have seen before. People dress to impress. Ayinde dresses how he wants, albeit heavily influenced from school, it is still under his control and that is what he chooses. I really liked his final answer because it admits reality. Whether or not he looks at it like you do, he still looks at like it is life. He accepts that. That is why i think he is cool

Eliana Slurzberg

She is wearing a Green puffyish shirt, High Rise Jeans, Uggs, an Afghan scarf and a Beanie Hat. She also has some cool dangly earrings that you can't really see. When asked why she was wearing that she gave 3 responses.

• I don't know
• Extension of my personality
• Why Not?

She is much different from Ayinde. She isn't wearing "preppy" clothing. Yet she isn't wearing designer clothing (to my knowledge). She is wearing clothing that she likes the look of. Aside from matching she likes it. I wear some jeans more then others because i like them more. Maybe they are more comfortable or maybe because they look nicer to me. But she is wearing that because as she said "Why Not?" Those clothes represent who she is to her. Not to her friends or her family. They had an influence on her but she took it and made it her own because even if you could put every one in different groups, they would still all be different in the end because everyone is different.

Willow Levine

She is wearing a grey t-shirt, red and black checkered jeans, Vans with blue and red laces. She is holding a hoodie with pink shoe laces on the sides. She is wearing a guitar pic locket and is holding a jacket, a bag and roller skates. She also has a whole ton of ear piercings and gauges. When asked why she was wearing/had all that, she said:

• Cuz i Like it
• It Expresses Who i am
• This is how my friends dress

To me those were some pretty respectable answers because they were honest. That is why people dress how they dress. Friends and to show who they are. They have their own ideas that they can take and exchange with friends. It is a style that not everyone can appreciate yet she does it anyway. Maybe because friends are what count to her. I can't think for her but i would have to guess that she dresses like that because her friends had that kind of influence on her and then she took it where it needed to go. The way i dress expresses who i want to be, i like it, and some of my friends dress like that. I don't wear the colorful clothing but i have the Nikes. I got that from them. But I still dress how i want to dress and whether or not other people have an influence on me i can still make it my own just as these three people, who i can also call my friends, did.