New Paper

It doesn't really matter man. Well, who cares, life goes on right? Every day we wake up and look in the mirror and try to decide if we like what we see, some days we do and others we don't. Some days we like some things and not others and the next 10 minutes are spent trying to fix that. Then we go out and join the friends and family who judge us even if they say they don't, because they see the same insecurities that we do. It’s become something that we have inherited from the people around us. We are never OK with ourselves because there is always someone who is better. There is always something wrong with us and the fact of the matter is that there are hundreds of solutions, but none of them are good enough and that is the funny part. We want to be "perfect" but how can we if nothing is good enough? Is that what life has become? Have we lost the pursuit of happiness and took on the pursuit of perfection.

In school we put on the fake happy faces and take the endless amounts of shrapnel from the insult bombs our "friends" are constantly dropping on us. We smile and laugh at the jokes they make and inside we think, "Why is this happening?" But in the end we realize that it is just another in an endless line of tests that we must endure in order to be cool. Or what other people will view us as cool. In our own minds we are just loosing our dignity, sanity and individuality in order to fit this cookie cutter mold that has been imposed upon us by the hope eating monsters around us. Then again 10 seconds later we become one of us. It is a mask that we all must wear from time to time. For some it becomes an identity. It is a mask that can become like a face but it never will. Some people wear it so often that they don't know anything else, and others wear it so little that they detest when they look back and see that they had worn it. The second we interact with other people, our own face is compromised. And we put on a mask that is slowly stitched together by the people around us. It is made and destroyed every day and the more we are with people, then the less it becomes from us and the more it come from them. The thing about situations like this is that they are always worse explained then when they actually happen. It is like a surgery, it is completely painless until it is over and you have all the scars that need to heal. There is no way to speed up the process, it just takes time. It’s ironic that we get so lost in a world of cool. We loose our own identity and begin to take on others, Friedrich Nietzsche had the idea, "The surest way to corrupt a youth it to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike then those who think differently." What do we learn by playing follow the leader? We never get to establish a point of view if we are constantly changing our thought to be like those of the masses rather then those of the individuals.

The idea of “Youth” is astounding. We are the future and yet we follow each other like the blind leading the blind. What makes this so great is that whether or not people to chose to call us ignorant, we are only a step above. “The deepest definition of youth is life as yet untouched by tragedy”(Alfred North Whitehead). As a generation we think that we are the best because we express ourselves as individuals by taking a fad and making it our own. I don’t see anything wrong with that, we need to grow and learn how to do things on our own. What I have a problem with is how cool fits into this all. Cool is what makes people make things their own, but its never really their own. It belongs to the masses. Their ideas are no longer theirs when they try to be cool. They have surrendered their ideas and freedom to their new lord and master. But who needs free will when you can be accepted by your peers by only changing a little bit of yourself? But as with all other rules, there are exceptions. Some people are lucky enough to be the beacon to what is cool. They are the shining example of what cool is and for the most part, people will change to be like them. It doesn’t matter who they are or what they look like, they just have the personality and energy about them that makes people look up to them and respect them. Nothing about this is fair. It isn’t fair that some people can be cool, or popular or anything like that without doing anything but being them selves. High school is a war zone and there are no sides that you can choose to be on. You need to be able to claw your way to the top and once you get there, sure it’s a great feeling, but then everyone is gunning for you.

The worst part about all of this that is changes people. Friends become enemies, and the people you once trusted don’t seem so safe anymore. Depending on someone is a risky game that is never as painful as it may seem. The social battlefield that we endure every day is one that always leaves the scars that run deep. And all it takes is one grenade that hits too close and suddenly “Poof,” everything is different. Trusting people becomes a game, all of this in the name of false prophets. Everyday we get on our knees and bow to a god names Nike, or Levi’s, and for what? The hope that we will fit in and be accepted by the people around us who are even more lost then we are? What gives them the right to judge? My answer is simple, they know more about being “cool” then anyone else. It’s similar to how a priest becomes a priest. They have to study hard and fill out certain requirements, such as not being married. It’s all about being able to fit the requirements. Once they do then the extra work comes easily, like studying and learning to fill their responsibilities. It’s the same for the leaders of cool. Once they are chosen, it’s all about living up to their responsibilities. They are lucky and happen to fit the requirements so they are naturally chosen to lead the masses on their hopeless hunt for cool. In the end, it doesn’t really matter if it is hopeless because no one likes to think about growing up. Cool is just a way to stay young, at least for now. I know nothing lasts forever but that never stops us from trying.